Fracture In Humanity: Voices

The watch screams out loud; it being preset to speak out when the hour hand greets the “xx o’clock”…

Bed time.

Procession continues as daily wear gets exchanged for PJ’s and flip flops,
Body & mattress meeting together in an almost everlasting embrace,
With duvet sealing the union,
Sleep was practically guaranteed…

Guaranteed but not assured.

Sleep gets lost in transport,
And the mental release in form of the dreams gets denied.

And then, amidst the annoyance of rejection from the awaited release,
The questions begin,
Resounding with the mind’s empty space…

And it only gets louder

“…sigh… Is this how life was meant to turn out?”

“I mean, is this the goal?”
“What’s the aim?”
“What am I doing wrong?”
“Oh crap, have I texted her back?”
“Do I have to tell her the truth?”
“How about that other chick?”
“Should I show her my set of tricks?”

“Tricks? What tricks? The unemployment trick?”
“The dying dream reality?”
“What do you mean?”
“Life sucks!”
“Can’t deal, what the hell is this?”

Pillows used to cover ears,
Eyes tightly shut,
Mind attempts cleaning,
But the questions never stop,
Body curled up,
Teeth gritting against each other,
Angry body vibrations of annoyance,
The questions never stop

“…are you happy with your life as it is?”
“Was this including in the plan?”
“Should I probably, maybe, succumb to his game?”
“I mean, if I give him sex, would he give me his love?”
“Does love even exist?”
“Endless failed relationships, perhaps something’s wrong with me?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why me?”

The voices go on,
“Why me?”

Whispers go on,
“Why me?”

And in the moment it would take,
For the mind to register the statement,
The voices go quiet,
Reprieve granted,
Body relaxes as laxity takes over,
Position changed to counter restlessness,
Breathing slows,
Silences drags,
Body sleeps.