Category: Thoughts

Blog, Life, Prose, Thoughts, thoughts, writing

One Month Down, 11 More to Experience

I. Ogunbase

January is over.

We are now in the lover’s month. The month of Romance, in the depth and breadth of the word. In any case, the year is moving fast and we have to move in turn to not be left behind. Because what is life, if not constant change?

In any case, February is here. We are in our second month, and I feel like this is when most start to feel like the year is progressing and their plans are not panning out like they said they would at the beginning of the year in their numerous resolutions. And it is something I think about. Something I feel.

Because what is life, if not constant change?

This… idea that if things aren’t done in time, we are automatically behind and at risk of it never being done ever again. A mental block that most people will stumble on because we can’t help it.

For most, we cower in our fear and our supposed loss. We drink in our failures and spiral as our minds start to play the familiar record of “What’s the point?”. We watch as our peers march forward in confidence and we can only hope to become like them because we don’t think we are good enough anymore.

We forget that Life isn’t a race. And that there really is no worth in comparing our paths with someone else. And that, plans change and all we can do is change with it. That we must remain flexible to deal with the dynamic nature of Life.

It’s so very easy to say, much more harder to internalise and believe. But it is something we must do, so that we can take the next steps towards the journey we are all individually on.

To just take one more step forward, regardless of how things are.

That right there… That’s bravery.

TO MORE INTERESTING THINGS…

I say interesting, but it really isn’t.

I spoke about “Beta: The Hierarchy, Book 2” and my plans to get it out sometime this month and that is still on track. As usual, this will be self-published as well as I think I want to continue releasing this series like this for a bit longer.

I’m about 26 chapters in, with 4 more in the bag to write out, after which we start the rounds of edit and fine-tuning that I believe the book needs as I’ve seen a few things that need looking over, adding and all that ‘authorism’ (this is not a word) stuff. I do hope to finish writing this weekend, so that I can start putting things in place, but that is Future me’s problem.

All in all, the plan is slightly behind my personal targets but I’m going to push on to ensure I get it out so that I can prepare the next book on my list that I want released this year.

As usual, I hope your day and your year has been going well so far. Sound off in the comments if you want to catch up with me 😀

Blog, Random, Thoughts, Weekly

Something For the Week’s End

I. Ogunbase

So, January’s in full swing and to be completely honest with you, I’m still on holiday even though it sadly ends tomorrow. It’s been lovely to just rest, sleep and play copious amounts of Monopoly (which was interesting as you all know) before work restarts and we get dragged back into the humdrum of 9-5s and scheduled works.

But in the meantime, it’s been a lovely time for family and the relative mental silence. Plus a little time to reflect is always great. Hope your new year has been great so far. It’s always exciting to start something new.

For this year, I want to write more. So, I’m going to get back into trying to blog more regularly. I’m thinking something on the Thursdays but I don’t want the excitement of my new prospects to get to me, so we’re playing it by ear.

In essence, this is the first of the new year.

Let’s get this metaphorical bread…

To start off, ‘Beta’ is almost done in writing. To give some context, it’s book two to an existing series of mine aptly named “Alpha”. Don’t ask me why I went with those names. It was cool (and I still think it is :P).

Alpha is a vampire/sci-fi/thriller book about, well… vampires. It began off a prompt and ended up being the first book I finished writing even though it wasn’t the one I published first. It was good practice and I’m hoping to do it justice with the sequel.

‘Beta’ is almost complete after which it’s going to be edited and re-jigged around to ensure it is an exhilarating read and better than what came before it. I plan for it to be a trilogy so after ‘Beta’, I’ll be playing one more time in that world before putting it aside until another time. We shall discuss the other book later.

Secondly, as a recommendation of a book to read, here’s one for you. It’s one of the books from the derby and to be completely honest with you, I really did love reading it. I’m not going to say much about it but I think it’s worth a read. Details below.

Lastly, I… lol, there’s not lastly. I think I’ve covered what I want to cover for this post.

But here’s a question to you (and please do answer)… what are your plans for the year? Anything grand? Anything simple? Something in-between? It would be nice to know!

See you all in the comments!

Derby 2023, Poem, Prose, Shorts, Stories, Thoughts

Hi All! Another Derby Blogpost

I. Ogunbase

It’s been a week since my last post and it feels good to feel like there’s some sort of consistency to posting once more. So, I’m going to try and keep that same energy moving forward, in the midst of all the numerous things I’m currently working on.

And what does that mean in the grand scheme of things for this website and my blogging habits moving forward? Hopefully, that I get to share more about how the book writing is going!

In any case, I hope you’ve all been alright and your week has been great.

For today’s post, just wanted to highlight a bit more on the derby. Partly because I took part (and I’m trying to get some extra traction because that’s always cool) but also because I believe it’s a wonderful event that deserves some extra love and attention moving forward. Which, interestingly enough, is something I should have been doing from its inception.

I’ve been reading through the released books as well and been very pleasantly surprised at the quality of work that the other authors have put out in this third iteration of the derby.

The Menu: A taste of the quality so far, 2023

I’ve got a few more to go through before I start adding my reviews properly, so that no one gets to suss out my identity ;). I would like to hear what you think though.

Some sci-fi books…

Have you read any of the books on the list?
Have you seen anything that interests you?
What kind of genre do you like?

Some gamelit books…

I would really love to hear all your thoughts. Anyway, to end this all… more work is going on Alpha’s sequel and I should have more to share on that book very soon. I have another book series in the works, passed through an editor and currently back with me for some more story work.

And I genuinely can’t wait to share more of it all with you.

Have a great week!

Anxiety, Coping System, Descriptive, Emotion, Late Night, Pain, PenPractice, Thoughts, thoughts, writing

Grey Clarity on a Cold Evening

I. Ogunbase

Life is funny, sometimes. A downright comedian when you truly begin to see how it operates. How it flows and ebbs. How it pulls and pushes. A Joker, to be succinct.

And whenever I said this, I’m generally met with momentary confusion and awkward reluctant acceptance especially after I add the caveat that I have at a ready for situations like this.

“Life is funny sometimes because all you can do is laugh… Because if you don’t laugh, well… then it breaks you down.”

Isn’t it interesting how one of the most important, underrated emotions that no one seems to talk about is “Disappointment”

I personally think its one of the stronger negative emotions. Not anger or frustration or pain or grief.

Disappointment. /dɪsəˈpɔɪntm(ə)nt/
sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations.
“to her disappointment, there was no chance to talk privately with Luke”

Its a Thursday night (as of this writing) and I’m sequestered on a table at the corner of a beautifully decorated hall to celebrate a friends traditional Nigerian wedding.

The colours are cool; Purple, adorned with white flowers sets and green flowery background around the couples’ chair. A dance floor, white with gold trimmings with the print names of my friends. The music is loud and inviting. Different notes, different tones and the adults are all enjoying themselves in the centre, dancing their night away in joy and laughter.

The joy I feel for my friends, the couple, is immense. Its been a while coming, especially with how the pandemic has derailed everything.

And it is in this immense joy, that I find myself being disappointed.

Disappointed with plans.
Disappointed with Life.
Disappointed with people.
Disappointed in things.
Disappointment like grief.

This, ever-expanding sea of apathy and diet nihilism that I’ve fallen into but I’m not drowning. It’s not choking me. Instead, it wraps itself around me like a breathing apparatus. I can see through the ripples. I can breathe through the tube in my mouth. My movements are delayed but I’m not bound or restrained against my will.

And its because of this disappointment-like-grief that I have to laugh in the face of life being life. In the face of life being volatile. Because if I can’t laugh at the intricacies and idiosyncrasies of life, I lose the only defence against the apathy in front of me.

And that’s the one thing I can’t allow.

After all, if life ebbs and flows like the sea then I’ll be eventually washed up on a beach somewhere. Preferably with a cocktail in one hand and my wife’s hand in the other. Some summer wear to enjoy the season and a hammock so that we can gaze at the blue. And life would be good again.

Until the next tidal wave hits.

Thoughts

A Return To Form

I. Ogunbase

I told myself, at the beginning of this post, that I’ll try to make this a short one.

Or course, it’s all in my head, so maybe it wouldn’t be as I think it should. In any case, it’s been months/years since I did a write up so it’s only proper that I do the needful…

First off, Happy New Year and all that wonderful stuff. I have been missing for the better part of the lockdown for hobby and mental health related reasons. I had nothing to write (specifically), and I was working on some gaming related work on the side which is turning out well, to be honest.

Nonetheless, as someone trying to carve out a space as a writer, being away for so long is a detriment to the long term plan so it is only apt that I do the needful.

Speaking of which, here are some announcements for your eyes.

1. Book two of the Heirarchy is in the works. I had a plan for it to have been published by my birthday but I failed.

2. I’m working on something else on the side. I can’t talk much about it because it’s existence is under contest rules so please bear with me.

3. I have half a mind to return to my newsletters but I’m planning on how to better implement it for the future.

4. My fourth book is in the edits and I’m hoping to approach a publisher for that so wish me luck.

And thats really it. I have something in my mind to discuss but that will be in a different post that goes up either later tonight or tomorrow.

In any case, I’d like to say I’m back.

Hope the year has been kind to you and yours.

Thoughts

22 Days of Probable Word Magic #WinterABC2020

I. Ogunbase

Hi Y’all!

Hope you’re all holding it together during this season of multiple pandemics. It’s obvious that the year has a lot it wants to detox itself off this year. Still, if you’re reading this, I’m glad you are safe and healthy. That’s a commodity, these days.

Anywho…

I have been advised and roped into something that I have been taking a look at for the last week. A chance at doing something a bit more consistent over the course of the month, both for the website’s sake and I guess, some personal growth. You can get the hint in the hashtag I put in the title.

#WinterABC2020, hosted by the wonderful @Afrobloggers, is a chance for African bloggers to stand out and express themselves fully and truly. I am African (Nigerian by birth) and I blog. I guess, in however small a way, this applies to me to.

So, for the next 22 days, I’m going to attempt to perform some written magic, delving a bit more into who I am, what I do and the way I experience the world, based on a few choice topics chosen by the hosts of this current event.

Write Words GIF - Write Words Writing - Discover & Share GIFs

So, without further ado and in line with topic 1-of-22 simply titled ”, here goes;

I am three times self-published author, going under the pen-name of I. Ogunbase. Which is formed really by the initials of my first name and my last name. It took a while for me to decide on it because of marketability but I eventually came to the conclusion that my identity is tied to my name and I don’t want to hide behind a false one just so that my books will be more appealing.

I’m Nigerian (birthed and lived in for 14 years) and British (for the later half of my current life). I love writing, I love gaming. I love God. And it is my hope that I can be consistent in the next 22 days.

That’s my pledge, really.

Some topics might be tweaked to better fit the site but I’ll talk more about that in tomorrows hashtag post ;). Until then, have a great day.

And wish me luck.

Thoughts

Big Picture. Little Picture.

I. Ogunbase

You know… It has been a while since my last blog post and honestly, I shouldn’t be writing in the mood that I’m in. But, writing in an emotional state tends to be the best state in which I can make words make sense.

I need words to make sense.

2020 was and is supposed to be a different year. A different way of thinking, new moves, new life and the promise of something completely out of this world. Something I’ve been chasing since she said yes to me over the phone when I told her I’d like to date her.

The dream of a new house and a new car. A few books out under my name and some upwards movement with my life and that of those around me. Colleagues had plans in place, I had weddings to attend and one to plan even. There was a positive trend to the year.

And then. Covid-19.

Covid. Flipping. 19.

And all the heavy lifting that had been put in place from the months before… All the sweat and tears and frustration and stress of trying to pull everything together into a cohesive picture suddenly goes out of the window. The monsters and the burden that had been discarded down were suddenly back up as the scramble re-began and trying to pull it all together.

I mean, it’s not everyday that one sits to fight and survive a pandemic, even if the death stat is about 5% of total cases. 5.3% to be pedantic, really.

Still, the wedding is most likely going to be postponed. The vendors are back into negotiating stages. The house process is postponed. Stress levels are rising. Everyone is working from home and all of this…

All of this = Little Picture.

It’s the extent of the things that I can control, even if the control itself is nothing more than an illusion. A brilliant and sweet illusion but the faux control is still enough to give off the right amount of dopamine that is just grand.

And then, there’s the big picture.

A global pandemic.

Who knew all the years of watching disaster movies would end in us experiencing one? Real-life imitating fiction and we’re living in it in real-time. Right to the tip-top second.

NOTE: Coronaviruses are a group of related viruses that cause diseases in mammals and birds. In humans, coronaviruses cause respiratory tract infections that can be mild, such as some cases of the common cold (among other possible causes, predominantly rhinoviruses), and others that can be lethal, such as SARS, MERS, and COVID-19.

The coronavirus, Covid-19, is spreading like a bad rash on a hot day and we’re barely keeping it back. The hospitals are overflowing with patients, everyone and their moms are getting sick and the unfortunate souls with outstanding health conditions are being forced to come to terms with what it means to contract the virus.

Countries are struggling to contain the spread, entire cities are trying to survive. Face masks are low in supply, the economy is having one heck of a wild ride and the sneaking suspicion that things will be a lot different when the virus has completed its cycle assuming, of course, that it completes its cycle.

Conspiracy theorists are filling the airwaves with half-truths and misinformation, looking for something or someone to blame. 5G is the current culprit as people attribute the technology to being capable of causing difficulty in breathing. I mean, I’m a tech guy but for all my research, I haven’t seen anything to attribute it to such.

Still, the false belief that it was 5G that kickstarted the virus has made its way on WhatsApp and Facebook and you know what happens after that.

Italy and Spain are battling the worst of it. USA is barely doing appropriate testing, along with their cousin, UK. The middle east is doing their best to sort out lock-downs while Africa (as a whole continent) is trucking on because (a) there’s a false belief that we’re immune and (b) we don’t have the testing facilities to prove otherwise.*

*Well as far as I know…

Nonetheless, I guess one of the best things to come out of this is the awareness of just how much the nurses and doctors all work to keep everyone else safe and sane. When this tale is over, I hope people remember them to forever be the heroes that they’ve shown themselves to be. More importantly, I pray that they will be able to be whole again when it’s all done.

All in all. Covid-19 has us by the privates and it’s squeezing tight.

The Big Picture.

So, here I am… angry and frustrated at how my plans for the year have more or less been tanked. And feeling guilty because in the face of the problems I’m looking at, I’m intentionally ignoring the bigger issue of what the world is experiencing.

And even with the knowledge… Even with the realisation that nothing matters until Covid-19 is sorted out and a vaccine is found, I still can’t help but feel like the year has robbed me of what I had been looking forward to for years now.

And I don’t know how to feel about it all.

Stay Home. Save Lives.