Bae, Life, Love, Response

With Me

Letters found from a loved one to another…

“You have been absent from here in its totality because it has been difficult to find the words to explain what you’ve done to me. 

You entered my life almost four years ago, sporting the blue dress at our mutual’s graduation party… You being shy, I being I, interested in getting to know you. 

Fast forward to now, and even though we’ve only been official for nine months, it feels like you’ve balanced me for the duration that you decided to give me a chance. 

You prayed for me when I was down. Held my head up when all I wanted to do was look away in shame. You straightened me up, looked into my eyes and told me you believed in me. That I should not cower but look ahead and walk through…

So here’s what I have for you. A promise to you alone, away from prying eyes…

I promise to love you with my being, in the same way that you’ve shown me love. I promise to do my best to do right by you and by God. I pra…

… Rest of letter found torn and words crossed down. A little addendum added…

“I think I’ll reserve the rest for a more private message to you. After all, your name pertains to being ‘with me’, so I’ll wait till it’s just us”

No other letter found

Emotion, Poem, Response, Thoughts

Lost Pages: Grey

Blots of black on white,
Or white on black,
Mixed by the twirl of the brush
Blurred by the smudges of my finger across paper…
Conceptually painted by the murky in-between of reality & imaginary,
Unsure as to whether real’s unreal,
Or whether unreal’s real…
Not good, not bad,
Just moving towards ugly
Not even being funny,
But neutrality seems to be my calling,

Pacifistic mentality,
Willingly, Un-becoming,
Paid the lukewarm band-camp membership fee
Cos I was too hot to be cold,
Too cold to be hot,
So as to get spat out,
When one goes to drink…

Light mixing with darkness,
In a dance of abstract colours,
So we twirl, twist & turn,
Like the yin-yang symbolism
Unwilling to let go,
Fear of choosing a side, perhaps?
Fooled to think both sides are ‘equally’ good, perhaps?
Unaware of the possible outcome,
Like closing one’s eyes to the implication of grey clouds up in the sky…

In the end,
There lies just rain, chills, thunder & lightning.

Coping System, Emotion, Response, Thoughts

Just Another Frustrated Somebody

Not exactly sure what I’m writing on but I figure as I go on, it will eventually be clear to me…hopefully. You see, these past few days I’ve brought a certain familiar emotion/thought to my attention, one that I had been avoiding for a long time now and dare I say, I am not in the least pleased to re-visit it again…

Frustration sucks. <—- This I have always known…

…except for the fact that now, I can see it apparent in almost everyone I look at. I figure because I’m so attuned to it, that it has become quite easy for me to notice it in others and yes people, we all seem to have it. Some have learnt to ignore it and get on with life, others have unwillingly succumbed to its poisonous whispers. Trust me, I understand this. Frustration and I go a long way back… Heck, it was even present at graduation. Match-made in heaven? I doubt, but hey, love is blind, right (?)


So yeah, Frustration (yes, hyper-linked to a poem I wrote a few months back and posted on my Tumblr blog) seems to show a lot among adults, or rather, the adults I tend to see here and there. It seems to be so heavy among the adult-folk that it affects actions, emotions, thoughts, etc.  And its understandable when you view it from the perspective of one in the same shoes… You see, everyone has a dream, might be small, might be big but a dream is a dream nonetheless, and as you grow, you will inevitably meet a resistance to the dream. And the resistance will always come in different forms. Some will appear through finances, some through job availability, some through chances and some through the non-belief that you can make it (this one sounds small but come on, think about it, do you have any idea how hard it is to try and be somebody when no one else believes you can make it? Not saying you can’t but I’m saying its crazily difficult)

In my case, my frustration is both aimed at self (for not doing as well as I could have in university) and just in general due to the fact that I don’t have a job yet, which means I can’t put my plans into motion yet, which means my dream just gets a bit harder to reach or visualise.

What am I getting at here? Frustration is invariably an emotional response we have to deal with at some point in life but I guess the real and true question is “How do we deal with frustration?”

In my case, being on the path of Christianity and all, the ‘obvious’ choice would be to “Let Go & Let God” which sounds like an easy concept. Sounds like, does not mean it is. So I keep trying to do that and I know one day I’ll get good at it. But at the moment, its hard and I’m trying but I can’t seem to do it yet.

Another advice would be to keep pushing on regardless of whatever stands in your way… *shrugs* Manning Up as some would say.

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success” – Bo Bennett

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.” – Dale Carnegie

It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.” – Lech Walesa

That’s all I got really. (PS: I think I know what I’m going to name the post now)

That being said,
How do YOU deal with your frustration? (comment if you want to share and don’t mind)