Scare Tactics

I notice when you creep ahead of me,
Your silent boots,
Not so silent
The dark shadows at the edges,
The creaking floorboards,
The whinging door frames…

I know what you plan,
As sure as you know what my reaction will be.
We’ve played this back and forth relentlessly

You, jumping in front me yelling “Boo”,
Me, debating whether or not I push past the fear and bring the dream to life.

I’ll have to admit to the countless times I turned round and betrayed myself.
Bought into your doubt and told myself I couldn’t make it.
I had watched you take credit for it then, parading the failed carcass of my goals to your colleagues.
I watched ashamed,
honestly,
broken by the realisation that you had blocked my forward movement, and left me with the backwards conveyor belt.

But that was then. This is now.

I can notice you creeping ahead of me,
Your silent boots,
Not so silent,
The creaking floorboards
And your silent whispers

I know what you plan,
As sure as you know what my reaction will be.
As we’ve played this back and forth relentlessly

I’ll be moving ahead this time though…
You’re not killing this light I’m holding in my hands.

I’ll be moving on ahead this time…
We’ll revisit this game,
next time I’m around