I am tired
From the moment I decided to wake up from whatever dream I was having
Tired because of how long the previous day had me feeling
Tired because of the hours spent overnight thinking
Tired because the thoughts in my head prevent my resting
So I wake up tired.
Headache banging, my impromptu alarm clock with no snooze button
Mouth dry and clammy as my body has redirected the liquid to its exit by my eyelids
Exhaustion caused by the mental alchemy of turning depression into physical defects
The shot glass remains ever empty, but I can’t deny the impulse.
The thought of the brief release as it wrecks my nerves.
The bitter aftertaste as the burn travels down my throat
So I look up, past the clouds, with a sincere hope that my Creator is looking back at me.
“I’m here… I’m lost… When you can please holler back at me…
Because the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer and I’m not coping properly…
And I’m using all I have, to do all I can, but things are not as it should be…
I know I’m not the best, I don’t think I measure up to the rest, but please turn your gaze back to me…
Because I’m tired…
…oh so tired…
I’m getting tired of being me”