Late Night, Life, PenPractice, Shorts, Thoughts, writing

Over the last couple months, I’ve lived, loved and lost. 

I’ve enjoyed a wonderful set of months that words don’t quite come close to explaining it. Ironically, I haven’t done much so maybe it’s the relative peace of mind I’m enjoying. And that’s coming from someone who worries a lot. 

I’ve loved and still loving, to be completely honest with you, the lady in my life has she has taken it upon herself to become the deterrent to my not so pleasant self. She’s awesome and I try to let her know everyday 

And I’ve lost. 

If you’ve stuck around to listen to the conversation I have with myself this has to be something that has cropped up over the years.ive lost friends, attitudes, some hobbies and some aspects of my personality I’m still not sure I’m supposed to lose, but methinks that’s a different conversation. 

That said. 

The future is more focused now and all I’m focusing on is the intensity of that which I don’t know. The uncertainty at taking the next step in a life journey without actually knowing what the step will lead to. 

Its like standing at the helm of a cruise boat staring at the possibility of a sunny trip, torrential downpour and storm, wondering where the steering my lead. 

It’s all confusing.  
All these information being absorbed and yet my mind can’t sift through fast enough to figure out my next plans. My eldest sister would argue and say I have no forward planning. 

Before I’d argue but now I’d agree, albeit in a rebellious reluctant attitude, but how can I have forward planning when I’m don’t know what forward I’m trying to move towards to. 

Society popularly teaches that the early 20s are when you should be unsure about the future as you try to find your feet, but I can’t help but wonder if that timeframe is extended. 

I know what I’d like at the end of the tunnel, but I’m left second guessing if it would be worth it. With everything else suddenly fighting for priority, would my destination at the end of the tunnel change? 

More importantly, is this how people’s dreams die? 

At the murderous hands of uncertainty and non-existent clarity? 

Late Night, Sleepy time, Thoughts, thoughts

Musings After Dark 1

It’s 3:21 AM.

Sometimes I wonder what would cause a man to stay up that late except for indulgence in nefarious purposes but currently, in my case… I’m trying to fix my PC. Of all the things in the world, it’s importance is little, but it remains a coping system, helping my mind to wander the dark recesses I leave untouched.

I’ve been meaning to pen my thoughts for a while now, but as you know… my mental debates rarely makes it on the white pages of my personal internet space. And man, have I talked. About random things too… From random debates on which [Bleach] character is the strongest to comments about the political, social and emotional aspects of the world.

Here I am, fretting about the working state of my computer while out there, somewhere in this cold and dreary Christmas weather, children are running with their parents, away from a life of blood and ashes. The internet remains awash with pictures of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, supposedly in reports of a split. President-Elect Donald J. Trump continues his ill-advised Victory Tour as he relishes in the era of lies, fake news and demagoguery that he has created.

As someone born in the 90s, sometimes I find it weird to reconcile that fact that not only have I gone through a drastic and steep change in technology, I’m possibly present at what could be the turning point of the world.

Tension is high between governments. Citizens are concerned about employment and job prospects. Refugees are hoping for a chance to live again, and not survive day to day, hand to mouth. The division caused by the era of hatred that Adolf Hitler created is suddenly being re-enacted.

Splitting hairs really, aren’t I?

People used to be better when I was little. I’m not so naive to think that the world was perfect, but as a race, we cared. We loved. We welcomed with some form of open hands. Or at least, I believe so.

But as technology progressed, it would seem our capacity for more emotions has dwindled. If we can’t share it on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or Snapchat, our interest in the matter severely reduces, except the brave few who go out to do the things we’re too coward to do.

2016 is coming to an end, and everyone seems to buy into the expectation that 2017 would be much better than this plot-twist of a year.

I find myself doubtful however.

Nonetheless, all we can do is hold our heads up high and march on into 2017, determined and ready for whatever may come our way.

it’s 4 AM.

I should probably sleep.