*Shrugs*

A friend of mine noted something about me which sort of shook me for a few hours before my mind finally shelved it away in the ‘Deep-Thoughts’ section somewhere in my subconscious. And for that few hours (I did answer him kinda almost immediately but it stuck in my head, replaying like a bad cringing scene from a romcom), all I could do was think about the question being asked and whether or not I might have told him a lie.

“Why do most of your pieces seem bleak? like life is a drag…”

“I guess its cos’ I’m writing from inside out, about where I am or what I’m seeing around me”

Probably the most convenient reply I could muster at so short a notice but it got me thinking… Was that the reason why my poems sounded bleak? or Had I finally fallen to the nihilistic belief that nothing matters and as such life is a drag, etc? I kept replaying it, re-asking it, trying to find the true answer… the answer that, I don’t know, vibrated within my heart and my bones…

And I came up with nothing. So I questioned myself… went through my memories and had to draw up a mental score sheet… Was I being laid-back when that occurred or was I just going with it cos life’s such a drag? Is that why I had managed to get this far? Stay relatively sane? Was it the defence mechanism against all the insults and let-downs and snide comments and all of those things which would have affected me years back?

Now the thought that bugged me the most was…

“How do I or rather, Why do I still smile like everything is okay? How do I manage to keep getting up when sometimes it tends to look like there is no point in getting back up? How do I manage to keep moving on?”

My mind, on that thought-stream, gave me a one-worded answer that calmed me.

“Hope”

Hope… the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life…

In other words, somehow, I seem to be hopeful…

Somehow.

On a slightly positive side, I could boast to be an initiate of the Blue Lantern Corps. That would be swell, wouldn’t it? *shrugs*

Blue_Lantern_Symbol

“In fearful day, in raging night,
With strong hearts full, our souls ignite,
When all seems lost in the War of Light,
Look to the stars– For hope burns bright!”

#CheesyLifestyleRightHere

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