I feel like I’m going crazy.
Well, that’s not particularly right, now, is it? I feel like I am losing it… Every single time we I get hurt, or let down or frustrated, I try and suppress the feeling. Looking back on my life, it just occurred to me my sisters were right… I did miss out on being a kid/teenager. And I didn’t even notice it. Because, it seems that then, I had other things on my mind as opposed to going through the rebellious teenager phase most of my counterparts have traversed. So I suppressed it. Every time I get angry, I walk away and suppress it. Every time I get frustrated, I grit my teeth and tend to hold it in. Every mistake, every hurtful insult, every let-down, everything suppressed…
And now I’m at the point where, whenever I go through a similar emotion, before I get a chance to suppress, it all comes rushing out in my mind… Suddenly, I’m recalling similar accounts of previous acts that occurred somewhere in my past and I’m reeling in pain and mental distress.
I am supposed to deal with it right?
I keep trying to think of ‘how’ to deal with it and how to sort out the emotions in a more effective way and nothing is coming up.