Daes Dae’mar™…
Also known as the Game of Houses, or better yet, The ‘Great’ Game.
It refers to the political and social manoeuvring employed by the nobility of various nations to gain status or wealth, or to cause the downfall of others they dislike.
References here, here aaaaanndddd here
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Do pardon the beginning of the case note, but I just couldn’t help myself. The concept of this title and the little written bit above was taken from a book series that I dearly love.
The Wheel of Time, By Robert Jordan (and after his death, By his Best Mate, Brandon Sanderson)
And it took a second reading from me before I actually understood the concept (I believe to the entirety in which was intended). It makes me believe that Daes Dae’mar or The Great Game was something the Author must have had in his mind for an extended period of time and inadvertently put it in the book (whether intentionally or as a story builder). Either way, it made its mark in me and suddenly I’m seeing it everywhere.
Everyone is playing it. Every single person has encountered it, either mistakenly or intentionally been used in it.
Correction: every ‘adult’ has encountered.
All those smartly built lies or half-truths or excuses that have been used to further an agenda, or an ultimate unknown goal. The betrayals, white lies, gossips that seem a bit too convenient when you choose to sit back and observe it properly.
It is a real concept (played by all who are privy to it. And stumbled upon on, by those who have been hurt by it)
It all seems vague now, but I guess I should utilise a few examples to explain, right?
Example 1
Boy and Girl used to go out in the past. Boy got caught cheating so girl left him. However, feelings still exist between girl & boy so a lot of mistakes and heartbreaks are caused between both parties. Now, Girl meets Boy’s best friend and develops feelings. She is therefore presented with a mental dilemma…
a) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend with the intention of making Ex-Boyfriend jealous… (Agenda 1)
b) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend with the intention of causing a rift between the boys… (Agenda 2)
c) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend out of true feelings… (A pure motive but still, Agenda 3?)
See what I mean? I listed 3 possible choices simply because I could only think of 3 possible agendas. But it is a game, isn’t it? To further whatever result the girl is gunning for. The same applies for guys. The game is not gender-based.
Example 2
Guy is always revising with mate but always gets a lower mark in test, exams and coursework. So he is obviously conflicted within. Mental dilemma
1) Sabotage mate by causing ‘Mate’ to stop working/revising, by constantly dragging to raves or parties or just plain ps3/xbox gaming
2) Plain old cheating. Get caught. Incriminate ‘mate’.
3) Bother Mate in other to ‘study’ better, inadvertently causing ‘Mate’ to not study for himself properly.
So he passes and his mate does not do as well. Agendas and agendas.
Most of all these are usually on the spot. But sometimes, it is carefully planned; the lie, the excuse and to some of the pros, the truth.
Now, it might seem like it is an inescapable ‘game’ of such, but that is not true. If anything, avoiding the game is easier than playing it. BUT! That would entail being both socially inept and anti-social… Which most people would probably shirk.
Ergo, most would choose to play it (accidentally or not).
One of my friends commented when I presented the concept to him…
“Is this all there is to life though? Cos it sounds grim…”
Another friend straight out asked…
“Are you playing it on me?”
I answered no. (Truthfully)
Please do understand, when I say it is not particularly a bad thing (as a friend of mine did tell me). To an extent, we are all using each-other. It even sometimes forms the basis of friendships and relationships. It can be even viewed as the foundation basis of friendships, a trade of intentions & agendas, if you may…
“I’ll be your friend because I hope to be able to tap into some of your ‘smartness’ to pass my exams… While you’ll be my friend so you can tap into my ‘finances’…”
Conclude it in your heart as you wish.
I can however say, that the best way to play it (if you are in the midst of it) is to be as honest and as truthful as you can be. For some reason, people get shocked and surprised when you tell the truth as opposed to telling a lie. So tell the truth, be honest…it throws everyone else off-guard. And if anything, as a bonus, you tend not to get the guilt from lying or scheming and such.
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