And I mean everything.
Quick note: Today started out quite wonderful, if I must say. Quick phone call from a potential employer (company) and cheap price for the driving theory test that should have been done about 2 weeks-ish ago. So all in all, it is safe to see why I assumed why today would be magnificently amazing. /n
I am currently placed in Apathy.
Apathy in all things relationship wise (which pertains both friendship and the dating and the ‘love’, etc.). So the whole making friends, or keeping friends, or falling for someone, or falling for someone, or confessing feelings… all that seems oblivious to me at the moment. In the words of Count Dracula
from the 2004 film ‘Van Helsing’
“I am hollow…”
Quite literally, to be frank with you.
Now, I’m not trying to put a negative aura on myself or make it seem like it is something I’m struggling with because it’s not. If anything, I just believe I’m in a transition state. An occurring metamorphosis, if you may. But to what? I knoweth not. I think I always knew it was going to come, after some of the things I had to put up with (relationship-wise), but I can honestly say that I wasn’t expecting Apathy to be the neutral ground on which I’d be placed on.
And as a result…
I don’t understand the idea of having feelings any more.