I’ve been meaning to put something down for a while now (like for the last three months) but whenever I open up the blog to post, I get hit with a lot of emotions at once after which I find myself closing down the webpage and getting on with whatever I was doing before.
To tell a story, being the storywriter I imagine myself to be… When I still lived with my parents, the Christmas tree and decorations tended to only go up when we got close to the actual day itself, for differing reasons of course. Some days, I wouldn’t want to do it because I knew it was mostly expected from me. Other days, my siblings would ignore it for the same reason. It was only when my mother would put her foot down that we then proceeded to accomplish said task.
The kicker to the story though is that… we exhibited the same action after Christmas was over and it was time for the tree and the decorations to come down. I wouldn’t want to do it. My siblings wouldn’t want to do it. And the game of hopscotch continues until we’re halfway through January of the new year and our house is still lit up like air traffic control is having a party.
Bad joke, I know… Potentially bad story time as well but stay with me here.
When I was younger, it was because I just didn’t want to do the work, to be honest. Sometimes, laziness, sometimes I wanted the whole house to be involved and for it not to be something started and finished by me which had occurred a few times. Not that it was justified, but I was young. It made some sense to me then.
As an adult, however… most times, it’s because I just don’t have the mental capacity or bandwidth to extend myself to the task. More often than not, it’s also because said task is coming after a series of disappointing results to desperate efforts. So, instead of pushing through, I wallow and wait until I balance out. Which is sometimes faster than expected and other times, slower than needed. Just to be clear, in case I lost you there for a second, this is not about christmas trees anymore.
Still, to bring it all back around. 2025 has been a good year. Better than a good chunk of my adult years but not quite where I want it to be. Honestly? I’m pretty happy about the result. Life is mostly good. Things are mostly balanced. The future looks honestly cool. But then, the negative feelings peek out and then, I just stop doing things because I don’t have the mental capacity to be productive.
Even now, I feel it. A wave of disappointment, displeasure and the general vibe that the year, while a good year in most aspects, didn’t quite turn out like I also wanted. I am forced to reconcile with the fact that I haven’t done or achieved some of the things that I hoped I would have done this year.
But that’s the crux of adulthood, isn’t it? Shifting priorities and responsibilities and hoping in some divine way that one of the planned things actually come to fruition?
Maybe it’s all in my head and I’m being too hard on myself.
In any case.
I watched a few more movies this year than planned, though most of them has been my wife dragging me into the intricacies of K-Dramas and they are great! Capital G. Also got into a bit more into podcasts as well, some of my favourites being “What Now with Trevor Noah“, “Challenge Player 1” and “The Nosleep Podcast“, thought the latter has been a favourite for a while.
I haven’t read as much books as I hoped (audible aside). I’d like to get back into more physical book reading. Maybe that will help me finally finish writing my own books or something of the sort. Of course, if you have great suggestions from authors you love, this is the best time to tell me so!
- Beta is complete. Just editing and re-editing to resolve some threads from Alpha and successfully open new ones going into the final book.
- DeathBringer hasn’t found an agent or a publisher yet, but hopefully, we’ll capture some eyes in the coming year.
- I have a few new stories in the works (and in the works, I mean in my head. One of them might show up on this website soon, so please stay tuned).
- Some of the projects I’m doing with friends is progressing well so hopefully I can brag about the hobby next year as well but… you know… I’m still shy and stuff.
All in all, it honestly has been a good year, regardless of whatever personal emotions might want to say on the matter. On to a better one.
I want to personally wish you a Happy New Year and a great 2026 ahead. May all your dreams and wishes and plans come to fruition and may you look back at year end with a smile on your face for a successful year.
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