In Too Deep

I fell in too deep.

I… I think for the first time in my life, actually no, second time in my…. my bad, I meant third time in my life where I’ve gone off the cliff, took a dive and hoped for a good enough splash to make some sense.

I think I fell in too deep.

Part of me wants to say I didn’t see it coming or how it was completely by surprise, but it wasn’t. It was going to be this way. I was going to take the leap of faith and somehow hope for the best. The confidence was usually based on some sort of feedback.

Right… too vague.

I fell for [redacted], and decided to confess, whilst battling something akin to a storm in my life. I figured then would be the best time to say it. You know, get it out of the way before other things come and take some sort of priority. Figured, at least, I’d have something potentially great going. The feeling was mutual.

But.

I don’t know why I assumed I’d be capable to deal with the “but…”, especially when I had fallen too deep into it. Everything past this point becomes speculation and heart politics, both of which I’m ill-equipped to deal with… until my instincts kick in.

I promised I’d wait for as long as my heart will let me.

But, I worry.