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Daes Dae’mar™…

Also known as the Game of Houses, or better yet, The ‘Great’ Game.

It refers to the political and social manoeuvring employed by the nobility of various nations to gain status or wealth, or to cause the downfall of others they dislike.

References here, here aaaaanndddd here
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Do pardon the beginning of the case note, but I just couldn’t help myself. The concept of this title and the little written bit above was taken from a book series that I dearly love.

The Wheel of Time, By Robert Jordan (and after his death, By his Best Mate, Brandon Sanderson)

And it took a second reading from me before I actually understood the concept (I believe to the entirety in which was intended). It makes me believe that Daes Dae’mar or The Great Game was something the Author must have had in his mind for an extended period of time and inadvertently put it in the book (whether intentionally or as a story builder). Either way, it made its mark in me and suddenly I’m seeing it everywhere.

Everyone is playing it. Every single person has encountered it, either mistakenly or intentionally been used in it.

Correction: every ‘adult’ has encountered.

All those smartly built lies or half-truths or excuses that have been used to further an agenda, or an ultimate unknown goal. The betrayals, white lies, gossips that seem a bit too convenient when you choose to sit back and observe it properly.

It is a real concept (played by all who are privy to it. And stumbled upon on, by those who have been hurt by it)

It all seems vague now, but I guess I should utilise a few examples to explain, right?

Example 1
Boy and Girl used to go out in the past. Boy got caught cheating so girl left him. However, feelings still exist between girl & boy so a lot of mistakes and heartbreaks are caused between both parties. Now, Girl meets Boy’s best friend and develops feelings. She is therefore presented with a mental dilemma…

a) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend with the intention of making Ex-Boyfriend jealous… (Agenda 1)

b) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend with the intention of causing a rift between the boys… (Agenda 2)

c) Girl pursues a relationship with best friend out of true feelings… (A pure motive but still, Agenda 3?)

See what I mean? I listed 3 possible choices simply because I could only think of 3 possible agendas. But it is a game, isn’t it? To further whatever result the girl is gunning for. The same applies for guys. The game is not gender-based.

Example 2
Guy is always revising with mate but always gets a lower mark in test, exams and coursework. So he is obviously conflicted within. Mental dilemma

1) Sabotage mate by causing ‘Mate’ to stop working/revising, by constantly dragging to raves or parties or just plain ps3/xbox gaming

2) Plain old cheating. Get caught. Incriminate ‘mate’.

3) Bother Mate in other to ‘study’ better, inadvertently causing ‘Mate’ to not study for himself properly.

So he passes and his mate does not do as well. Agendas and agendas.

Most of all these are usually on the spot. But sometimes, it is carefully planned; the lie, the excuse and to some of the pros, the truth.

Now, it might seem like it is an inescapable ‘game’ of such, but that is not true. If anything, avoiding the game is easier than playing it. BUT! That would entail being both socially inept and anti-social… Which most people would probably shirk.

Ergo, most would choose to play it (accidentally or not).

One of my friends commented when I presented the concept to him…

“Is this all there is to life though? Cos it sounds grim…”

Another friend straight out asked…

“Are you playing it on me?”

I answered no. (Truthfully)

Please do understand, when I say it is not particularly a bad thing (as a friend of mine did tell me). To an extent, we are all using each-other. It even sometimes forms the basis of friendships and relationships. It can be even viewed as the foundation basis of friendships, a trade of intentions & agendas, if you may…

“I’ll be your friend because I hope to be able to tap into some of your ‘smartness’ to pass my exams… While you’ll be my friend so you can tap into my ‘finances’…”

Conclude it in your heart as you wish.

I can however say, that the best way to play it (if you are in the midst of it) is to be as honest and as truthful as you can be. For some reason, people get shocked and surprised when you tell the truth as opposed to telling a lie. So tell the truth, be honest…it throws everyone else off-guard. And if anything, as a bonus, you tend not to get the guilt from lying or scheming and such.

Okay.

I should apologise to whoever reads this. (No one does, but imagining I’m talking to people is safer in my head, I guess) but my long break from wordpress is not explainable. Life is handing me live grenades and I’m just getting blown back into the dirt. I don’t actually blame it. I’ve always known life was not made to be fair… It was made to test the limits of man, and it has been testing me a lot tbh. But I know the times will change for the better. So I’m toughing it out.

Nonetheless,
I am back for the forseeable future. Hopefully, I notify before I vanish again.

Yes, yes….

I understand that my time here as been somewhat scarce in the last couple days/weeks. And that is probably due to that fact that I have attained a mental state that allows me to ‘not’ rant about anything that I feel shouldn’t probably be said.

It is crazy, if I am to be fair but I must admit that the mental state came when I got to a place in life where ranting was not an option. Probably due to the fact that the rant is usually brought on by an external factor and I was torn between what was proper and what was needed.

Forced to contend between my needs and the needs (feelings) of others.

I understand that you might not agree with me and probably would have argued I threw my morality out of the window and went about ranting my honest selfish thoughts out and about but fortunately, that was not how I was raised. That being said, I am not so naive as to believe that change will occur if I continue to stay in the same instances that cause my ‘ranting’ sessions. I have begun to change, to kindly and smartly diffuse issues without having to receive the brunt of other’s wrath. That all just plainly avoiding it. Even then, I have noticed changes within myself… Not too sure I am proud of, to be honest with you but that is a topic for another time 😉

All in all. Hello. I am back and you will enjoy me till my next exile (^_^)

In the meantime, enjoy this… (it is a Gif. you might want to click it if it doesn’t move)

It is like i’m beginning to feel comfortable in writing out drafts… Sad, I know, but it actually feels like I’m keeping an online diary. And I’m not too keen on diaries to be honest. I know, I tried years back but I ended up tearing up the diaries to make paper figures (a skill I had back in the day… my paper planes, alien spaceships and men were to die for…not literally, if I might add)… But still it keeps me company…

Somewhat

And I actually remember when I didn’t used to like writing… How I used to detest the idea of putting pen on paper to make up words and sentences and plurals and singulars and etc… English was, at a point in life, a thorn in my side. And now, years down the line, it has become a coping system without which I’d probably would have lost it and gone ape somewhere earlier in life. So I guess I’m grateful on that note.

I guess I am.

<<< going through my posts and drafts and I just stumbled on some *interesting musings written in a somewhat less…erm…. I’ll just let you get to it. It (or they) will follow after this post.

*Interesting is subjective to perspective

There is an occurrence (for the moment, I will treat it like a theory/theorem of mine, just like Newton & his revered Apple) which happens whenever I end up falling asleep suddenly. The resulting sleep allows me to wake up in a…for lack of a better word, slight enlightened mentality; like the solutions to whatever in present becoming clearer.

Light-bulb moments, so to speak.

I am going to (once again, just for cool ratings) name this occurrence:- The Enlightenment Happenstance…

Hmm. Sounds somehow, somehow. Anyhow, background setting done, let me get to the point at hand, yes?

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Misconceptions are mean.

This stemmed from the conversation I had with a friend today, in which I complained about something that has been affecting me (slightly) lately; my inability to read people as I used to. When I say “reading people”, I don’t necessarily mean understanding them, what I mean is being able to observe a person’s attitude or personality or humour or morals and so on, so forth. For me, being able to read people was the ability that told me how to relate/react to them. It was what dictated the jokes I could share with them, the way I could talk to them, what I could share with them… It told me how to comfort them, or cheer them up, and lately it has been harder for me to be able to do this.

What does this have to do with ‘Misconceptions’ ? Everything.

While I was in this conversation with my friend, pieces of a random side-noted puzzle in my head fit into place; Some people have the ability to ‘consciously’ give out a false reading of who they are.

“Yeah, we already know that…”

No you don’t.

Blagging about your personality or your attitude or your emotions to someone is different than giving off a false reading. Because in a false reading, its not what you’re saying, its the unsaid words…the ‘actions’ being shown, the little subtle things that make us decide what we think of a person.

Social example:- You find someone on a social networking site, or at a bar or at a gig and you connect with the person. You become friends but the person is aiming for more than that. Now for some odd reason, (or maybe based on what you’ve read off the person), you don’t want a relationship. Gut feeling or otherwise is telling you that a relationship with said person would be dangerous. But the person doesn’t relent. Your friends & maybe family are all observing and egging you on to go out with the person, because they have decided in their minds, based on what they’ve seen, that he/she is a genuinely good person. And as such, you finally give in and enter a relationship.

And then everything changes. After a few days, or weeks, or months, or years, you begin to notice that “this is not what I thought this person would be capable of”…

You begin to notice that your relative ‘other’ is not actually who they appeared to be.

You get the idea now, right?

Misconceptions are mean.

Nonetheless, I’m not saying you can’t trust anybody. I am, however, saying that not everybody is what they seem.
My advice? Accept that fact, but even when issh hits the fan, and everyone is hurt, be willing to forgive them (if they are requesting a mercy, sincerely) because after all, we just might not be what we seem to other people too.

I learnt a few things yesterday (which I should have posted yesterday but kinda got distracted, so ended up not doing) and they have been causing some sort of resonance within my mental faculty all day today…

Granted, I was in a ‘mood’ (sort of), in the late hours of yesterday night/wee hours this morning… But that was just me being me, I reckon.

Nonetheless, here are what I learnt… (Or as much as I can recall)…

1) In life, there are those that complain and then they are those who don’t… And those who tend not to complain, tend to live their lives in a happier, more determined mindset…

Tend to, I can’t say 100%. However, I hold such a believe simply because those who don’t complain tend to not see the point in complaining. That’s not to say they don’t have issues worth complaining about, but they just know that complaining about the issue wouldn’t solve the issue.

Working towards a solution, instead, would be best.

2) Sometimes, you will have to force your dreams into reality, even when they try so hard not to be real.

Sounds nice to say, but the truth in it is solid. We all have dreams, life goals, ultimate aim, la-di-da-di-da… But by now, most will agree that it sometimes seems unreal when it comes to putting it into motion…

Like some existential force is against you making that dream come to life. At such a time, one’s motivation, determination and drive has to be at its highest point.

DISCLAIMER: If God says no, then I’m sorry, but its definitely not happening. Take heart though, it tends to mean, he’s got something else planned for ya 😉

3) Talk without action is useless. Just as well as, Action without talk is unhelpful. One must talk to sell oneself, one’s ideas, one’s dreams… And at the same time, Action must be shown alongside.

4) If life is easy, then you are not fully living it… And if life is hard? Be patient, good times are coming

Self explanatory.

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That’s all I got at the moment. I guess I will write some more as inspiration, epiphany and enlightenment take turns visiting me.

Ciao.